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Pain Gains - 52523

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Pain Gains - 52523

"Pain insists upon being attended to" - C.S. Lewis

Ted Harrison
May 25, 2023
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Pain Gains - 52523

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Just a warning that some of these stories might induce phantom secondhand pain. Let’s (cautiously) jump in …


The Daily Rabbit Hole: “Alan Greenspan hospitalized for enlarged prostitute”

“CNN’s correction said that, of course, it meant ‘prostate.’”


The Schmidt Sting Pain Index was painstakingly (in every sense of the word) created by entomologist Justin Schmidt, who went around the world subjecting himself to various stings across the insect kingdom. He refined his scale numerous times over the years, which classifies 78 different species stings. Essentially, Schmidt was the king of responding “I’ll take your money” for anyone proposing, “I bet you won't.”

There is commitment to your studies and career, and then there is the death wish route Schmidt took. I’d encourage the former approach - discipline is a great trait, but carried too far and you might find yourself in writhing agony.

Schmidt passed away in February of this year at the age of 75 after years of dedicated study to bugs.

RIP to the pain king.


The ‘Wait, What?’ Vortex: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

“… a six-word story, popularly attributed to Ernest Hemingway, although the link to him is unlikely.”

Urban legends are almost always legend. Doesn’t change how good (and painful) the six word story is, even if it wasn’t Hemingway.


Ouch …

There is a ritual for becoming a man in an Amazonian tribe that involves sticking your hands into mitts that have bullet ants sewn into them for at least five minutes. Then you do it twenty more times (basically until you no longer cry during or after being subjected to the gloves-of-death) on the journey to becoming a true warrior. For context on the pain this entails, let’s turn to our new entomologist friend Mr. Schmidt who described the sting of these ants as, “pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail embedded in your heel.” It’s the highest rated pain of any he experienced.

The pain can last up to 24 hours with side-effects lasting much longer. Receive enough stings from these angry ants sewn into a mitt, and you can lose the ability to move your arms as they involuntarily shake for up to several days. Imagine doing this 20 times as a 12 year old kid …

It’s a wonder the entire tribe hasn’t turned into real life Ant-Men.

By reading you have unwittingly agreed to subscribe. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. The Internet does.

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